Gratitude Reframed for People with Bipolar Disorder

When you have bipolar disorder the value of practicing gratitude can be difficult to appreciate. It is hard to be grateful after a manic episode when you have lost all your money due to overspending and lost employment and friendships because of your behaviour when you were acutely ill. Plus, a severe depressive episode will likely follow which includes the symptom of having negative thoughts making it hard to be grateful for anything.

In the depths of a severe depressive episode, practicing gratitude will not snap you out of your symptoms no more than gratitude can instantly regulate your blood sugar if you had diabetes. However, if you are able to reach out of the darkness and grab one thing you are grateful for then that may give you hope that there is a reason to keep trying to rebuild your life. Without hope, you can begin to question the value of your existence and that can be a dangerous place to be.

I have not had a severe depressive episode in some time, but I still find there is value in practicing gratitude. Everyday, I make a list on my phone of the things I am grateful for having in my life. When I am not experiencing a depressive episode, this helps me take a positive perspective on every aspect of my life. If I am having a depressive episode gratitude serves a different purpose.

During depressive episodes, I do not enjoy music, I find it irritating. When I am feeling well, I listen to music to give me energy to start the day but on the “bad bipolar days”, music does nothing for me. I am tired and everything seems to take double the will power to complete. My appetite is poor, so I have trouble eating which further decreases my energy level. Jovial and spontaneous conversation is difficult which is embarrassing, and it makes me feel less connected to people in my life.

My gratitude list does not make my symptoms vanish when I am having a depressive episode, but it does help me press on despite not feeling well. I can look at past weeks’ lists and remember I have had better days. I am grateful for the reminder that I am not cured. Bipolar Disorder is a chronic illness. Medication gives us the chance to have a positive life, but it does not take away our symptoms entirely. When I have a depressive episode, it reaffirms the fact that I need to keep my routine, attend peer support, stay active and see my psychiatrist regularly.

It is not helpful for our family and friends to point out that we should be grateful. It comes across as invalidating the struggle we are having. In my case, I just let my family know I am having “a bad bipolar day.” That way, they do not ask for details on what is wrong with me or try to give me a pep talk. We all know this happens to me from time to time and I just need to be patient and try to be a little more active until it is over. It would not be helpful for my family to ask me if I am having a “bad bipolar day.”

Using gratitude lists the right way can help maintain stability and create a larger space for joy for people with bipolar disorder. This combined with knowledge about the illness can be effective in reducing the impact of chronic symptoms of the illness as well as help drag us through the tough times. It is one more tool one can use to have a good life despite having bipolar disorder.