Thinking about writing about anxiety and bipolar disorder made me feel overwhelmed. I felt like I would have to spend months compiling my experiences and knowledge and consult with several professionals to do the topic justice. Rather than attempting to do this I have chosen to focus on my own experience for this blog.
In my case, it has been a challenge to figure out the difference between the anxiety I have because of bipolar disorder and my anxiety that was borne from life experiences.
In 2010, I had a manic episode that was followed by a severe depressive episode. I felt lifeless. I did not have the energy to shower, get out of bed and I had to force myself to eat. My anxiety was so high that the thought of opening the door to leave my home made my heart race, my throat tighten, and my muscles would ache with dread like they were trying to prevent me from leaving. Once the episode subsided, my anxiety level dropped substantially and leaving my home was not an issue.
When I am not having a depressive episode, I also experience anxiety but the source of it seems to be my life experiences. I know this because I have had psychotherapy to address the issues from my past and my level of anxiety has dropped tremendously.
A couple of years ago, I started experiencing a difficult side effect from an antipsychotic I was taking to help manage my bipolar disorder. My psychiatrist’s assessment of my bipolar disorder at the time was that we could try going off the medication. After being off the medication for about a week, I went to a grocery store and my heart began to race, the muscles in my throat tightened and I felt like I was going to throw up. My anxiety had returned. After describing this experience to my psychiatrist, she put me on a different antipsychotic and my anxiety went back to a manageable level.
These experiences tell me that my anxiety has a bipolar disorder source and a life experiences source. I am not sure where the boundary is between the two or if they are interconnect. I believe that there is a difference because I know psychotherapy alone would not have helped me recover from the anxiety I experienced during my last severe depressive episode or when I was taken off my antipsychotic. I do not believe that medication could have helped the anxiety I suffer from because of some of the experiences I have had in my life.
There are a wide range of approaches available to deal with issues with anxiety. These include mindfulness, a life practice that grounds you in the present moment and includes meditation, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a form of therapy that helps you address negative thought patterns, and there are different types of therapy to address issues from the past. In terms of medication, there is a range of approaches psychiatrists can take based on their assessment of their patients’ needs.
Addressing anxiety issues for people who have bipolar disorder is complex and it takes the expertise of a psychiatrist to be able to tease out the source of the problem and the most effective way to treat it. It is one of the most debilitating aspects of having bipolar disorder for many of us but there is a range of strategies, therapies, and medications available that can facilitate a better life for people who struggle with it.
I clearly see the crippling extent of anxiety in this descriptive, well written account of your experience. Thanks for sharing some strategies to deal with anxiety.
Thank you Sue. That compliment means a lot to me coming from you.
Thanks Allan
Yes anxiety has disabled me in many ways. I believe mine is biological. I became disabled in many ways by anxiety at about 11 years old. I knew something was wrong but at that age who could explain anxiety to someone.
Medication has given me a better quality of life even though I still have daily anxiety. It’s something I have a hard time accepting and I probably have to do more work accepting that I have to do my best in life that I’m capable of despite my anxiety.
Once again thank you for another comforting discussion .
Thank you for the compliment and sharing your story Annette.
I relate to your experience in such a huge way. Thanks for this Allan!
Thank you Brad. I always wonder if people will relate to my blogs. It makes me feel good to know that people have similar experiences to me.
Thank you for the reminder that anxiety can be tackled through various means, including medication. Similar to you, I’ve tried to identify the source of my anxiety (bipolar or life experience related) and have put a lot of pressure on myself to make lifestyle changes, which help to a certain extent, but do not solve the problem entirely on their own. I agree that there comes a time when we need to accept that we can be helped, and our anxiety can be alleviated via medication and/or therapy in addition to the work we are doing on our own.
I am glad you found this week’s blog helpful Katie. Thank you for your comments.
I really like how you express your authentic experience, and at the same time are able to mindfully observe and analyze yourself. This is a valuable lesson for all of us, whether dealing with bipolar disorder or not. Thank you, Allan.
Thank you for the kind comments Andre. I really appreciate your feedback on my blogs.
Thank you Allan for this great article and how different it can be for one who has Bipolar and has anxiety. When I experience anxiety the source of it seems to be what’s going on now such as the Pandemic and knowing that the anxiety will ease on it’s own. It really helps me to understand more of anxiety and Bipolar
Thank you Patty. It’s so great to hear from someone who is trying to understand bipolar disorder even though they don’t have it. I really appreciate it and I am sure other people who have the illness appreciate it too.