People seem to be aware of depression occurring during the darker months in Canada but there is a different season that those of us who have bipolar disorder have to pay attention to and for different reasons. It’s springtime. I like to refer to the spring as, “mania season,” because this is the time of year when I, and many people I have met who have bipolar disorder, are more likely to experience hypomania which can build to full-blown manic episodes. This phenomena is officially called Spring Mania (Psychiatric Times) .
I live in Calgary, Canada and during the winter we have approximately 8 hours of daylight per day. In the springtime, that changes to 15 hours a day. My bipolar disorder can react to the increased number of daylight hours in a dramatic fashion. Most of my hypomanic and manic episodes have occurred in the spring. For me, the consequences of this happening are extreme because I have the more severe type of the illness, Bipolar 1, which means I have full blown manic episodes that can include psychosis. This has happened 3 times in my life and all of them caused irreparable harm to relationships with colleagues, some friends and family members, job loss and a struggle with maintaining enough money to meet basic needs. Since the consequences are so severe, I am hyper vigilant in keeping an eye on my mood in the spring and if something starts to go wrong, I act immediately to ensure that I don’t become acutely ill.
I have learned that the first symptom I experience when my mood is becoming elevated is irritability. I notice that when I talk to people my words have a tiny bit more of a bite to them than usual. Nobody else notices the change but I can because it’s not like my usual demeanor and the way I communicate. I also notice that I have thoughts that describe my irritation with the world. Thoughts like: Why do people in Costco always get in my way? How come everyone is driving like idiots? Why is person x taking so long to complete x?
The other symptom I notice is that it is very difficult to calm down and rest. It feels like my blood is almost vibrating at a different frequency than the rest of my body. Regardless of how tired I feel, if I lie down, take deep breaths or close my eyes, my body will not calm down. I feel like I must keep moving but that makes the feeling worse.
When this happens, I go into my bathroom, put a towel at the bottom of the door so that it is completely dark and wait and see if anything changes. If I start to feel better, it confirms for me that my mood is becoming elevated. I sit in the dark for as long as possible and that stops my symptoms from getting worse. After I feel more settled, I close all the blinds in my house and wear sunglasses. I don’t do anything stimulating. I don’t go on my phone, watch TV or go outside. I just sit in as dark a room as possible and try to stay bored. I cancel all of my commitments including work, socializing and sports activities. If my symptoms get worse, I will call my psychiatrist and she will decide if any adjustments need to be made to my medication. Generally, when I do this my symptoms only last a few days. I have not had a manic episode since 2010 and I believe this self-awareness and my medication has made this possible.
This strategy will not work for everyone. Bipolar disorder presents differently in every single person. Unfortunately, the only way to figure out a method for yourself is to reflect on what was going on before your last and previous episodes to see if you can identify any patterns that can give you a clue that you may be becoming unwell and then working with your psychiatrist to develop interventions that will work for you specifically. For me, this process took many years and I think it is important to have some space after an episode to grieve the losses you may have experienced, heal from the shame and physically recover from the depression that follows before you start thinking about how to identify when you may be experiencing an uptick in your mood.
For family and friends who have loved ones in their lives who have bipolar disorder there is very little you can do to help in this learning process other than be supportive and compassionate just like you would for any other physical illness. It is difficult for people who don’t have bipolar disorder to understand the subtleties of the start of mania. I have heard many stories of well-meaning family members expressing concern over someone who has bipolar disorder’s mood when often the person is simply having a normal valid emotional response to a certain circumstance. Peer support provided by people who have bipolar disorder are better able to have these conversations that people can learn from. Organizations such as the DBSA, The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance have online peer support groups for people who have bipolar disorder.
I have heard many mental health professionals say that bipolar disorder is an illness that can be managed. I think that is unfair to us. I think we can thrive and have exceptional fulfilling lives with meaningful volunteer or paid work, and healthy relationships with colleagues, friends, family, and romantic partners. We may not be able to engage in specific activities and everyone who has bipolar disorder differs in their capacity for how much activity they can do in one day. I believe with the right medication and strategies based on self-awareness it is possible for all of us to have a positive life.
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