Last Wednesday, I hit the wall. I struggled to get out of bed, I felt no desire to eat and I found music irritating. These are all signs of the start of a depressive episode for me. Just by coincidence, I had my appointment to see my psychiatrist on Thursday. Her assessment was that I was not experiencing a depressive episode but a psychosocial problem. She determined that the isolation that Covid-19 has imposed on my life has had a significant negative impact on my mental health.
People with bipolar disorder need structure and commitments. It prevents us from getting into ruts that can lead to the physical symptoms of depressive episodes. I volunteer with seniors at an agency called the Kerby Centre. I love the laughs that I share with the warm and appreciative staff and working with seniors gives me a sense of fulfillment. The Kerby Centre is providing crucial support to seniors in the Calgary area during Covid-19 but the building has been closed to the public and volunteers for the majority of the year so my position has been put on hold temporarily.
I cannot replace the time I spend at the Kerby Centre, but I can find other activities to sustain myself until the pandemic is over. After discussing several solutions with my psychiatrist, the most appealing idea that emerged was crochet. Crocheting is good for your brain and having a finished product will give me a sense of accomplishment. Many years ago, I learned how to crochet mainly out of curiosity and because I wanted to crochet stuffed animals as Christmas presents for my nieces and nephew.
This year, Covid-19 has changed Christmas celebrations. I will not be spending time with family during the holiday season. I will miss our traditions including singing Christmas Carols. When we sing “The Twelve Days of Christmas” we are all assigned different parts of the song to sing solo. I will miss my brother puffing up his chest, tilting his head back and extending his arm like an opera singer before he bellows, “Five! Golden! Rings!” He does it every year and it still makes everyone laugh.
We may not be able to hug, kiss or shake hands with one another but we are all still connected. I will not see any of my family members in person this Christmas but that does not change how much they love me and how much I love them. We all still care for our friends and neighbours even though the virus has robbed us of our ability to show it in the way we have all our lives. When the pandemic is over these gestures will take on a special meaning for us and we will never take them for granted again.
So nice ! Christmas is great time for me . I’m still in the Christmas spirit despite covid. I’m not too concerned about the isolation part of this pandemic because I like being by myself. I never get bored . But for those who are the opposite , I always wonder what that would feel like isolating . Thankyou Allan for sharing your family Christmas story. The part when your brother sings his part made me laugh!
Merry Christmas my friend and all the best in the New Year xx
I know Christmas is a special time for you Annette so I am glad you are enjoying it. Merry Christmas 🙂
Thanks for sharing your authentic self, Allan. I am inspired.
And a very Merry Christmas to you.
Thank you Andre. Merry Christmas to you too.
Thinking of you Allan. Although I like my own company and like being alone. I miss being able to see my boys and granddaughter regularly and I sure miss on on one with the Kerby Clients.
Thank you Patty. Hopefully with the vaccine and stricter measures we will all be able to see each other sooner rather than later.