Crochet Connection

I would describe myself as an extroverted introvert. I need my alone time and I need my not alone time. Most of the laughter and energetic spark in my life comes from interactions with people. Due to the isolation in my life because of Covid-19, I have not been able to do my volunteer job, play badminton, and go to coffee shops which has been hard on me.

Several weeks ago, I told my psychiatrist I felt terrible and I thought I might be having a depressive episode. After doing her assessment, she said that it was not a depressive episode, but stress caused by the isolation. The best solution we could come up with was teaching myself to crochet to promote a more positive state of mind and distract myself.

The first thing I tried to make was a hat. I spent more time untangling the yarn and unravelling all the stiches because of mistakes I made than making the hat. I felt like breaking my little wooden crochet hook in half and throwing it off my balcony. Then, I made mittens. I think the designers of the pattern live close to the equator because it had so many big holes that they offered little protection from the cold we experience in Canada.

Then, I received a request from a friend for a crocheted infinity scarf. I looked it up on YouTube and it looked like a scarf that is in a ring. I followed the instructions on the video, and when I was done my ring, it had a twist in it. I thought that was the reason it was called an infinity scarf. I found out infinity scarves do not have twists, so I undid the whole thing and remade it. When I saw my psychiatrist, she told me an infinite scarf with a twist is a mobius scarf. I wish I had known that before I took it apart.

I have continued to crochet despite the stress it causes me at times. Recently, I was making a scarf and I realized that it has a value beyond mindfulness and the satisfaction of creating something new. When I make something for someone, the care I put into making it is an extension of my feelings for them. This experience makes me feel connected to the people I love and reminds me that we are all still together even though our opportunities to occupy the same physical space have become limited.